Pale yellow glimpses of sky can be seen through the naked trees on this chilly morning. The hum of the washing machine reminds me that I've already been awake for almost two hours and it's barely 8am. I try to console my sweet baby as he once again stumbles and takes a dive head first into the floor. Oh the joys of a toddling babe.
A doodie diaper. Some baby tylenol to help with the teething. I can see the gentle head pat Danny does when he is ready for sleep. A kiss on the forehead and then I lay him down into the pack n play for his morning nap. Suddenly, he is alert. He quickly stands up and smiles at me from behind that blue and white pirate pacifier.
I pull down the shades to block out the bright sun that I'm not ready for in hopes that Danny will be tricked. He quietly roams the pack n play probably looking for his escape. He sits down and scrubs his fingers against the mesh side. I transfer the laundry to the dryer. I can hear Danny's soft hum luring him to sleep. I sip my coffee in peace.
Some days I feel like I do everything wrong. I feel like I can't get myself alert and ready enough in the morning before my "job" begins. I drag myself out of bed at his first wail, stumble up the stairs longing for a cup of coffee. I feel like I can't complain about my job because this is the career path I chose. Plus there are so many moms out there with a "second" job. I definitely can't complain to them about my frustrations. At least my boss naps during the day-no matter how infrequent those naps occur.
Some days I get extremely bummed like my life is just passing me by all too quickly. I don't get to go out with friends...not that I did that before Danny arrived either. I've always been a homebody and probably always will be. People keep telling me that I need a hobby and I would agree with them. But how do you find time to start a hobby when your boss won't allow for that? The only time I can relax is when he is napping but usually I'm trying to straighten up the house again for the next hurricane season, which will come once bossman wakes up.
I'm not complaining. I love this job. I really and truly do. When I think about where I was a year ago...counting down til the day I was about to quit, I am so thankful. I know we are struggling, but we are happy. I don't regret not returning to work at all. This is where I've always wanted to be and it's the perfect job for me.
So yes, those early mornings come way too fast, but when you look on the bright side, it's ok. Most people don't get to hang out in comfy clothes all day or gives kisses to their boss's chunky cheeks. Or listen to him talk about the most interesting stories. Or snuggle on the couch with their boss as he shares his cold, slobber covered teething ring by shoving it into their face.
I'm the lucky one.
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